Living Inside a Spy Novel
by Donald Trump.
President of the United States.
This is a work of fiction. What those Liberal Snobs call Satire. Yes, America
I say again, these are the fictional diary entries of my life. Nothing I say here can be used against me. This is all made up. I have the First Amendment to protect me. On top of that I am a public figure. I have to withstand the abuses of parody.
Today is: May 20, 2017
Today is a great day. I am out of the US. They can't extradiate me. Poor Flynn, he is all alone back home.
Well, let me start at the beginning: the prolog.
There is no prolog. I am It. I have always been It. And I will always be It. Tough, if you don't like it.
Today is: May 21, 2017
Nobody thought writing would be this complicated, this tough. I like Twitter better.
But I have been told by my counsel that my tweets can be subpenaed, but my fictional ramblings can't, so here I am.
Right now, I have one goal, and one goal only. To keep my family safe.
I am like Walter White. I will do any despicable thing to keep my family safe after I am gone.
I am not crazy or paranoid. I know what the Russians are capable of doing. That fucker, nut-job Putin will kill us all if I fail.
I have come this far, but he wants more, the greedy bastard. Doesn't he see this thing is beginning to unravel. I tried to let him know as much during my meeting with those two lackeys, yet they keep on pressuring me.
I can't fire everybody. I can't make them do what they want me to do. I can't control those assholes in the media. Oh, the fucking media.
Putin will release everything he has. Years and years of everything.